Location Taken: Forestville/Mystery Cave State Park, Minnesota
Time Taken: June 2010
I’ve been having an extra-strong social phobic day today. So, being the sort of person I am, I’ve been analyzing it the whole time.
In me, it manifests as a general irritation with any social activity or anyone who could be a source of social activity. It’s not really a fear or an anxiety, like most people with social phobia get. But then, I’m such a strong introvert that I barely need social interaction at all, and often live in full hermit mode anyway. Both mean I have no problem avoiding people when I need to, nor do the people around me try to intrude when I’m in great need of alone time. (They’re used to me being like this.) This means I neither have the fear of people forcing social stuff on me nor the anxiety of wanting to socialize but being unable to stand being around people.
So it comes out as irritation instead. I get an increasing tense feeling any time I’m near people, and it makes me more and more terse and cranky. Which are excellent traits if you want people to stop talking to you and just go away, by the way.
I also get a touch of feeling like I should go hide away, find a nice cave or something, where no one can find me. Since I don’t have a convenient cave, I manufacture one. My room’s already nicely cave-like, with blankets over the windows to block out lights, but even that wasn’t enough today. So I grabbed a nearby sheet and tossed it over my head, and wandered around in my own personal portable cave. Doing that is REALLY effective at signaling to people that maybe they shouldn’t bother you today, so it was win-win!
Ah, the joys of being a bit crazy.
At least these moods are rather rare, and pass quickly if I keep myself happily isolated while it works its way through my system.
Still, I should get a nice cave someday, caves are nice and dark and stay pleasantly cool all year round…
